Valentine's Day is for Schmucks (like me)

What a ridiculously fabricated lie of a holiday. That I LOVE! But probably only because I'm in a relationship, and because I just got these at my office:

Suck it, office ladies! See how desired and coveted I am! Someone loves me and has proven it with shrubbery!

How truly amazing it is that one's attitude can change so extremely and violently with just a little shift in circumstance. Witness!

Me five years ago: "Valentine's Day can kiss my a**. What a crock! Do people still srsly buy in to that Hallmark-induced red-splattered kitch fest? It's truly for the vapid and self-obsessed - those trying to prove to the world how their relationship is super *perfect* when really they will go home tonight and NOT have sex, having mutually consumed three bottles of wine, and one of champagne because they can't stand to be alone together *cuz it's a special night,* lying in their icy beds like beached manatees saying ohhh I'm just so tired me too, happy v-day sweetiemuffin! NO THANKS."

Me today: "Yayy I got flowers! Prettyyyyy! I love my fiance lalalalaa. Now we have a whole day mandating appreciation for eachother, which is great, cause now I don't have to worry about the other 364! Superrr convenient. Thanks, Hallmark!"

What is my point? Who cares - I'm getting lucky tonight! (or am I?) Just kidding.  A fancy Italian dinner, a dirty martini, an obligation because of sent flowers, another obligation because of the awesome massage certificate I got him - I mean, do the math people.  Cue Manilow.